Well firstly let me send a huge apology to the world for not blogging yesterday. I asked the BBC to let me do a public apology, but they were too busy looking at Harry Judd's biceps, he is insanely hot though. So once again this month the Second Hand Rose had wilted but don't you kiddies worry, I have a double bonanza for you, by the end of it you will feel as Christmassy as you do when you eat all your Advent Chocolate's in one go, hopefully not sick though.
My pretties let me start with telling you that I think I have quite a few big fans. No I'm not talking about the BFG here, I'm talking about some celebrities that were out today seen wearing Christmassy jumpers and the Daily Mail did a report on them and found some Christmas jumpers for people. They all obviously got there ideas from my post 12 days of Christmas jumpers, where else would they get them from? I wonder if they will enter my Christmas jumper competition, which you can enter by the way clicking on the link above and read all about my Christmas jumper designing competition. Like how I mentioned that? The jumpers aren't as cool as the ones that I chose as my Top 12 though, I can't really see Kelly Rowland wearing a jumper with humping reindeer on, can you?
So this weekend my household was full of me holding the ladder and being knocked on the head by baubles flying down from the loft. I also had to listen to my dad 'expressing' words about the state of our loft that I won't tell all your little ears, well eyes in this case, His 'we are going to sort this lift out next year' phrase we hear almost as common from him as 'right, 1st January I'm going to start running four times a week', yeah I will believe it when I see it Daddy Second Hand Rose, it hasn't happened yet.
So after getting stars flying around my head and almost falling over the obstacle of Christmas boxes on my landing, I helped my mum and dad put up the trees. Well to be honest with you, I really sat in my room watching a soppy Christmas movie, I don't really do the taking the tree out of the box and sorting the branches out, it always looks just a tad wonky when I do it, I'm more use with the smothering the tree with tinsel. So after many discussions of who was gonna decorate the tree, what carols we were putting on and who ate the last mince pie, I actually ended up decorating our Christmas tree today. Mummy Second Hand Rose has turned our house into a glittering Christmas paradise, better then the North Pole. We have lots of lights, wooden decorations and an oh so gorgeous wreath decorated by her that make Kirstie Allsopp's decorations look like they have come from a 99p shop.
But before I put more baubles that is probably humanly possible on our tree, I helped my Grandma decorate hers. I do it with her every year whilst listening to Cliff Richard singing 'Mistletoe & Wine', eating the Christmas decorations that are meant for the tree and taking three attempts to make the tree look less like it has had one too many beers.
Now I have to tell you all that my Grandma probably hasn't bought any new decorations since the Beatles broke up. She did get some new lights in the Woolworths sale a few years ago, so that has updated the tree a bit. Unfortunately, there are only 20 lights in the pack, the tree is 4ft tall - does anyone else see the problem here? So, due to this slight hiccup we have had to leave the bottom of the tree bare, yes ladies and gentleman the bottom of the tree is completely starkers, we did manage to preserve its modesty though. I will admit, I struggled to make that at least 10 branches had some sort of light on them, I'm sure Thomas Edison was turning in his grave by this point.
So what else does she put on the tree? Well not a lot, her decorations fit into a 5 by 10 inch box and they weren't even that squashed in. Her decorations range from small teddy bears to fluffy round things with one eye. I will just let the tree and her decorations speak for themselves, prepare yourself for a trip back in time, not even Doctor Who and his telephone box would be able to give you this voyage.
Every year without fault my Grandma has bought Cadbury's decorations, just one of the millions of reasons why she is THE coolest Grandma in the world, that and the fact that she can still do a cartwheel at 81. Also every year she buys one pack, then goes back to the shop to buy another. I know, it makes no sense to me either.
Her decorations consist of polystyrene baubles with bits of plastic holly on, glow in the dark snowflakes and icicles, golden reindeer, metallicy things that I have no idea what are called or in fact are, teddy bears and those fluffy things I mentioned earlier that need to go to Specsavers. The tinsel looks like it has been windswept and has hardly any tinsly bits left on.
I think there are actually more chocolate decorations on the tree then proper decorations, Willy Wonka would be proud. I may have to update quite regularly about the number of decorations because they will certainly be eaten quite regularly.
So on to our decorations, well they are quite different from my grandma's, namely they have been bought in the 21st century. We have ten trees and counting, three of them are fiborptic, two mini ones, one gold bald one and the rest are big ones, well big ish. Every year my mum dreams of having a real tree with the smell wafting through the house, my dad just thinks about how many pine needles he will have to hoover up.
So this year they took the annual slightly exruciating trip to the garden centre. I know getting a tree is meant to be fun and romantic, but in my household its moaning about the prices and Daddy Second Hand Rose hatching a plan to go and cut one out of the woods for free, whilst tutting at the big trees my Mummy Second Hand Rose chooses. She wanted a real tree outside, she wants one like the one in Trafalgar Square, Daddy Second Hand Rose would just be happy with a twig.
My parents agreed on getting a real one, but one they can plant in a pot so they can use the same one each year, if it means I don't get dragged along to pick one each year I'm happy about that. So they bought it home and well it looks like half the tree has been cut off 'it will grow' my dad said right ok, that was 20 quid well spent. So after getting concussion from getting the baubles down, I started to decorate are mammoth of trees. We have two big boxes of baubles and decorations, one with red and gold and the other with purples, pinks, blues silvers and a couple of black baubles that I convinced my mum to buy last year. I normally have some of them on a pink tree I have in my room, but due to having about 200 magazines to sort out, plus a rail of clothes I sadly can't squeeze it in. The red and gold are in one room and the rest are in the hallway and conservatory, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen watch out. I was left to do our main tree a.k.a the midget tree in the hallway, while Mummy Second Hand Rose did the red and gold one and a small tree that she has put in a giant cup and saucer, which I'm determined to drink hot chocolate out of it one day.
I started by searching through the mammoth of Christmas decorations to find the beads, ribbon and big pearls, which I'm definitely going to be wearing once the tree has finished with them. Our main theme was purple and silver on the tree with a few bits of black thrown in. To top the tree off I rested purple and glitter snowflakes in the branches of the tree and finished it with some purple feathers.
Mummy Second Hand Rose is a bit averse to the whole bright coloured tinsel thing on trees so that was used in another way. Even the cat has to be decorated and get all Christmassy! With the rest of the baubles I filled a chest with them, snowflakes and feathers etc. I also put white and blue lights in the chest and it has a clear garland and a big purple star. To finish it off I put two silver shoe decorations in the middle, I had to put shoes in somewhere didn't I?
The worst bit I think about decorating trees is putting the lights on and if the tree is a fake, taking it out of the box that its been squashed in for twelve months and trying to make it look at least a little bit straight and tree like. The reason I was allowed to do this tree and not the red and gold one was because a couple of years ago my sister and I found some rude decorations in Ann Summers and every year we try to hide them in the trees, especially on the red and gold one.
For some reason they have gone missing this year and I've been told they are put safely back in the loft, in an awkward place to get to, apparently. I have no idea why my Mum isn't happy with creating a beautiful arrangement and us putting a Father Christmas with his 'parts' hanging out to top it off. I know you're all dying for a picture, so this weekend I will do a Mission Impossible, wear all black and try and resurrect Father Christmas with it all hanging out for another year, don't worry ladies you can count on it.
Mummy Second Hand Rose seems to have an obsession with lights, we don't just have them on trees, they are on a lot of the the windowsills and up the bannister sparkling and flashing a rainbow of colours. What I love are the mini trees with the little wooden toys on and the big wooden advent train we have. Sadly there aren't any chocolates in the train, trust me I've looked. I adore all the old fashioned wooden toys, they remind me of the nutcracker wooden figures and wooden soldiers, you've gotta love a wooden man in uniform.
Every year she also decorates a beautiful garland for above the fireplace and one going up the stairs. I forget there is one on the banister in the middle of the night and get pricked with cleverly disguised tinsel and a wad of pines. Mummy Second Hand Rose is also pretty nifty with making a wreath, the gorgeousness of it makes up for me pricking myself with it at least twice a day when I shut the front door.
I'm sure Father Christmas will love all are trees and lights when he comes down the chimney, although Father Christmas watch out for the fur cones and holly.
Second Hand Rose