04 October 2011

Wiggling bums and a whole lot of fabric

Now ladies and maybe gentlemen, we all wonder what our bum looks like in a pair of jeans or that gorgeous dress that we have saved up for. We have all asked ourselves in our life that infamous question 'Does my bum look big in this?.' I'm sure like me you have spent many hours trying to bend your head every way possible in order to see what your bum looks like in a mirror. Every time us girls go past a mirror we secretly check out our booties. I'm certain even some of you men do this but just cover it up by 'fixing' your hair. The bottom is a huge thing for women,everyone wants a JLo bum to shake on a saturday night. Some women are spending thousands of pounds to get the 'perfect bum' with but lifting injections,carboxytherapy which is when they inject carbon dioxide into your booty to get rid of dimples and there are even women getting fat injected into their bum to have more of a Beyonce wiggle. Girls you can have some of mine anytime.  While other women are going crazy at the gym and avoiding anything yummy to get rid of the stubborn fat. Just thank your lucky stars ladies that the victorian bustle dress trend has not come back into fashion.

There are thousands,probably millions of products out there promising you the 'perfect bum.' You have to apply the product to your bum like ten times a day and have to use a buffer brush that both cost a weeks pay to fight the evil cellulite, using a round circle motion that gives you a dead arm for the rest of the day. Or you have to do lunges,squats,clenches and the infamous plank that I swear took at least 5 years off my life the last time I tried it. Ugh,I think I'll stick to avoiding mirrors and long cardigans thanks. So what is the perfect bum? According to a very reliable expert a.k.a Mr.Boyfriend it has to be 'Round, squidgy,curvy,extremely soft and you have to be able to pinch and grab it. Oh and it can't be too hard.' No pressure there then ladies.

The reason I'm talking about our secret obsession and some what neurosis is because a very clever Korean artist, Aamu Song has created a dress that can be worn by 238 people,yes you read that right. It is created with lovely Kvadrat classic 'Divina' wool fabric.The dress is made with over 550 metres of fabric,stretches 20 metres in diameter  and spreads out for 10 metres in all directions over the floor surrounding the 3 metre high bodice. God imagine trying to get on the tube with that.
The dress was created for the London Design Festival at York Hall and was presented by The Finnish Institute in London, that ran from the 22nd to the 25th of September. So the Second Hand Rose is just a tad behind.

REDDRESS: The dress is made from more than 550 metres of Kvadrat's classic Divina wool fabric which spreads out for 10 metres in every direction Aamu designed 'REDDRESS' for a performer to stand in the bodice of the dress and the audience to lie in the pockets under one of the four layers of skirt. Each performer had to climb up a concealed staircase to fit into the body.  Performers included Finnish vocalist  Emma Salokoski, guitarist Jarmo Saari and a string quartet from Britten Sinfonia. Aamu came up with the idea for the dress when trying to find a way of adding an extra dimension to an artistic performance. 'The gown-like the sound of a piece of music spreads and enfolds the audience,drawing them even further into the peformance.' So basically they just ran out of seats and had a load of fabric lying around. Aamu also said 'REDDRESS aims to question the roles we play as the participant or performer,as well as elevating the experimental boundaries of this versatile relationship.' If anyone can translate that into english,please send it in on a postcard.

The dress is gorgeous and amazingly well made with the clinched in waist and the puffy shoulders that Joan Collins from Dynasty would be proud of. If anyone doesn't know what Dynasty is check it out,full of 80s fashion and shoulder pads that make you look like a rectangle. Anyway, I think the poor people that had to sit at a sewing machine for not hours, but days deserve a big round of applause. So ladies the next time you have a bottom crisis,just remember that your dress does not have to consist of 550metres of fabric to cover your bum and there doesn't have to be a wooden structure made to conceal your assets. I'm sure those performers did ask themselves if there bum looked big in it. Anyone would if they had 238 people sitting in their dress. So all you small bums,big bums,soft bums,jelly bums,flat bums out there be proud of your posterier and flaunt your blessings. Just remember when you are on the beach or out at night,every other girl is so concerned about what they look like, they don't notice your wobbly bits. The only people that look are men and they just like anything that move lets face it. Even if your bum does look big in a pair of jeans and you could qualify for the squidgy bottom olympics,don't worry because join the club with another 3 billion women out there. I think I'll go and make some club t-shirts. Ones that accentuate the bottom of course.

Second Hand Rose

1 comment:

  1. hahahaa i love the way you write, it makes me laugh :D also that dress is amazing!! :O xoxo


I hope you have enjoyed my scribblings! Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think, they will be repeated constantly to anyone who will listen! Don't forget to click the follow button and add me on Twitter @Second_HandRose and Instagram: second_handrose XxxX