The Queen of Vintage

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Fondant Fancies

My adorable Grandma

I can't believe it has been two weeks since I have posted, time does fly when you're up to your eyes in fondant. If I worked for Vogue this would be the time when Anna Wintour would boot me out with her Chanel heels. But I do have a reason! And it wasn't just the fact that Diagnosis Murder was on every day. But since Sunday night I have been reeling from the end of Spooks, it wasn't the happy walking off into the sunset ending that I wanted :-( The real reason is that it has been two weeks of birthday's in my family. It was my grandma's on the 13th and my brother's on the 18th. My grandma was born on friday the 13th which says it all about her really. She is 81 and acts like a teenager and is the most wackiest mad loving grandma you could ask for. I have recently taught her how to text and she has just got a passport so she is now planning to rival Phileas Fogg. For her birthday my Dad took her to Paris which she adored, but we are all surprised she didn't run off with a frenchman and fall in love with the sight of his curly moustache and beret. No stereotyping here.
Honestly though, why couldn't they have been born at least another few weeks apart. It has been an expensive few weeks, especially in fondant.

Birthday=Cake-well that's how it works in my world anyway. Most people look forward to the presents and the drinks. I just care about what the sponge is going to taste like and whether there is enough buttercream in the middle of it. My weakness is cake, that and shoes, so while I can't afford my dream pair, I will settle for cake. So if I have any excuse to make a cake I will make one. Is national bubble wrap day an excuse by the way? I have the biggest sweet tooth in the world,which is all my mum's fault for making the most amazing food and my grandma with her huge sweet box and three minute sponges.
So birthday's in my house basically mean me covered in food colouring that takes forever to wash off and icing sugar in my hair. Not the best look when you go to answer the door. I don't just make a basic sponge with a bit of jam in topped off with icing sugar. No, I have to go full out and make a cake,decorated with about a kilo of fondant and so many food colourings that I'm surprised the ministry of food don't come round to take them from me.

I made a lemon cake with lemon buttercream for my grandma's birthday. I decorated it with lavender fondant and made three big roses out of fondant and about 10 small red roses. I then finished it off with pearly shimmered pearl style balls. I know it looks like something out of a Cath Kidston catalogue but I was pretty happy with it. Especially when I got to eat the leftover lemon buttercream, yummy.

For my brother's birthday I made a mammoth of a cake. Like me he has a sweet tooth and loves chocolate cake,which is very good for me since its my favourite. I made three thick layers with a scrummy chocolate buttercream between them. I had the pleasure of eating, well licking the rest of the buttercream out of the bowl,but I don't think my dentist would be too pleased with the amount I ate and I was quickly ordered by my Mum to go and thoroughly brush my teeth. Of course I didn't make extra to eat or put a thinish layer between the cakes so I could eat some.Not at all. After stuffing myself with chocolate buttercream I covered the cake with a huge amount of green fondant. I then made some musical notes and lines to cover the cake with out of black fondant. My treble clefs looked pretty dam good,if I don't say so myself. To top the cake off I made some black headphones and a microphone to be the centre piece. My brother is really into music and is currently learning a lot from the loveable Peter Gordon at Eagle Radio, so that's why I did a musical cake. He loved the cake thankfully and we all very much enjoyed eating the three layers, even if it did make us feel slightly queasy. Surprisingly the cake actually lasted around four days, which is quite a long time since cakes only last around about a day in my house. So my past two weeks have been full of caking,so now I have finally got the fondant out of my fingernails and the icing sugar out of my hair and I am back to blogging.

I thought I would give you all a round up of some of the things that have happened in the fashion world since I have been away. Where's Hugh Edwards when you need him.
Something I must tell you is that Paloma Faith,you know the ginger one with the quirky headpieces who I swear is related to Billie Piper, has launched a collection for La Senza for Breast Cancer Care. La Senza will kindly donate £3 from the sale of each Bra and Playsuit and £1 from every brief to the charity,such dolls. Breast Cancer Care is a great charity and give great support to the women affected by the horrible cancer. I just want to give them all a cuddle and a cake personally. So now you have an excuse to treat yourself and you are helping a charity in the process. Result! The collection has a forties theme so everyone get your curlers out. They are all made of satin and contain two bras,two briefs and
a playsuit, in emerald green and black. The bras are selling at £30 with the briefs at £16 and the Teddy (playsuit) is selling at £30. For those of you who are just a tad confused by the whole teddy thing,it is basically a bodysuit which combines a camisole and some knickers all in one. They were introduced in the 1920s and became very popular in World War Two due to women wearing trousers instead of skirts. This one features a figure flattering wrap around the front and a deep v back. The pieces may seem expensive but you will be rivalling Bette Davis whilst doing your bit for charity.

From charity to just plain bonkers, a new company called Mr. Kennedy that sell shoelaces, have launched a pair of 24 carat gold shoelaces. They are made from using 'ancient,artisan jewellery techniques' and cost a huge $19,000. I think I'll take two. Each set comes with security-guarded delivery and someone to lace them into your shoes for you. And I thought Asos Premier was good. There are also silver versions avaliable that are 'more affordable' and are selling for $3,000 but sadly the delivery service and the personal shoe lacer doesn't come with them. That's a shame because I have spent many minutes fussing about trying to lace my shoes, that is one career I shouldn't aim to do. Each set takes 120 hours to make and the gold is mined 10 miles away from where they are made in Quinchia in the Cacau Gold Belt, Columbia. Colin Hart, the man behind the laces says that he got the idea from seeing a family in Columbia make hand woven bracelets with thin threads of gold and silver. Only ten pairs of the shoelaces will ever be made. Colin who has already sold one set,believe they are worth every penny. I think I'll stick to brightly coloured £1.75 shoelaces off eBay thanks Colin.

Finally another thing I want to mention, is a pair of £50 leggings which have gone on sale that are claimed to combat cellulite and banish cankles while you wear them. I can practically see all you women jumping for joy. The makers of the Proskins Slim leggings say the compression fabric works in a similar way to high-tech sportswear, giving legs a firm pressure which supposedly improves blood flow. Basically everything is squeezed,sucked in and feels tight. Improving the blood flow helps stop fat cells from sticking to connective tissue in the thighs and bottom,a cause of cellulite . They also fight fluid retention around the calves and ankles,but enough of the scientific bit. Caffeine,Vitamin E, Aloe Vera and Vitamin A (Retinol) are cleverly woven into the fabric and smooth and plump the skin, reducing the 'orange peel' effect which is the bane of so many women's lives. Some research was done and wearers lost up to 2cm off their thighs and 63% noticed less cellulite. Two thirds of women also felt that their jeans were less tight after one month of daily wear. Where can you find these miracle leggings I hear you say. Well, they can be bought in Tesco, after all they do seem to sell everything these days and Next. They can also be bought at a number of online shops including eBay and Amazon, which also sell knee length ones. Danni Minogue is a huge fan of them and says they are perfect for long flights. They are basically flight socks in legging form. The only sort of downside is that in the first week or so you will need to go and spend a penny as my Grandma calls it more often then normal, because the fabric is forcing fluid away from the ankles and redirecting it towards the bladder. But this does give you thinner ankles so I'm sure you can bare a bit of excess loo time. It is recommended that they are worn eight hours a day for 28 days to acheive maximum results. Tunic dresses, baggy t-shirts and comfy long jumpers for a month then. They are temperature regulated though so they can be worn under jeans. Another good side is that you don't have to keep running to the pack of Persil every day. The fabric has silver in which means it does not need to be washed as often as normal leggings because it is anti-bacterial and kills odours. At £45 for three quarter length ones and £50 for full-length they do seem a bit on the expensive side, if you are like me and used to buying £2.50 leggings from Primark. But,if they do what they claim then they are a bargain and you don't have to go on a horrible diet or have surgery done and walk like a duck for weeks, which is a bit of a plus. If you wear them for 28 days the full length ones work out at £1.78 a day and the more you wear them the more value you get out of them, you will have legs to rival Miranda Kerr.

New Look: £13.49
was £17.99

To end my fashion news, Dorothy Perkins is having another VIP week offering 25% off so purses at the ready. It lasts from Sunday the 23rd to midnight on the 30th of September, so you have six days left to get shopping. There is a voucher you can download which you can find here Dorothy Perkins voucher and you can also use the code online simply by entering DPVIPD at the checkout. I'm sure I will be trying to justify some purchase this week,its a crime not to use a 25% off voucher isn't it.
Now something for the boys, we can't be all girly. There is 25% off men's clothes at New Look, so treat yourself to something or start buying your boyfriend's christmas presents now and get in his good books.

So there we go,there is my mini round up of last week. I am sorry this has been a marathon of a post ,but I did have some making up to do.I will be blogging more about Dita Von Tesse and her amazing new collection, Karl Lagerfeld deciding to do a more 'affordable' line, a very sticky catwalk show, Christian Louboutin's colour battle and many more ramblings are to come. Plus I will be doing some nail art tutorials, giving you some exciting news about my hair and showing you some of my knitting. The fashion world is officially waiting with bated breath to see my knit one,pearl two....

Second Hand Rose
XxxX

Now you see them,now you don't

Last week was the end of the fashion crazy month, with Elie Saab's collection 'Colour Shock' ending it in Paris, which was full of so many sequins that Strictly Come Dancing would be proud. I will be writing my round up of the Fashion Shows tomorrow or thrusday. I could gush forever about Elie Saab and the fact that I have never seen a bad dress done by him, but I will save that for later. A lot has happened in a week since the Fashion Week's finished, Edwina Currie has been booted off Strictly Come Dancing so my faith in the British Public has been restored, the Government has told us to crack open our piggy banks with money that we were saving for a rainy day ie shoes and Beyonce has told us she will be launching a maternity line. What a surprise, I swear some of these celebrities only become pregnant just so they can have their own clothes line. What's next, a creaky hip collection created by Judi Dench?

The best piece of news is that Debenhams have launched a collection of invisible tights for all skin tones. We have all had to wear 'natural' tights in our time, hairy legs aren't really the hottest thing. In my experience the tights are always the generic 'nude' colour and make your legs look like you have been using some dodgy fake tan, either that or spilt your morning tea down them. I am as pale as a ghost that hasn't seen the sun for twenty years though, so I'm sure they look good on some people. I also found that they ladder so easily and you seem to get them caught on everything. I have spent many years carrying nail varnish around in my bag to stop the ladder getting worse. It's not great when you are having to go to a meeting and you only have neon green nail varnish on you to rescue the ladder though. So ladies always carry clear nail varnish with you. The tights appeared too light for darker skin colours and a lot of the time appeared so shiny that you felt like that you were going to an 80's disco.

The tights will be available in various different shades to ensure that those with fair, olive, Indian, mixed race and black skin will also be able to try out the trend. Here's hoping they make an albino shade. Debenhams has reduced the shine of nude tights,which means that you get the warmth of a pair of tights but no one can see that you have tights on. I hope they aren't as thin as the old nude tights though,they were as warm as tissue paper wrapped around your legs. Trying to get them on in a rush in the morning while trying to eat a piece of toast, is not the easiest thing in the world. They ladder so easily you have to get up at least twenty minutes earlier just to put them on.
The tights will be coming in olive, bronze and coffee with fairer skin tones such a beige and honey. I know you are all thinking that these are going to cost the size of a small country,but listen up ladies they are only going to be £3.50 a pair!! Plus they come in three sizes,not just the usual 'one size' that has you using them as a stretch band to try and make them fit.
Debenhams hoisery buyer Joanna Townsend said 'Nude hoisery is a woman's weapon to fight the onset of winter.' And here's me thinking that it was hot chocolate and chunky dressing gowns.

With tights

Before tights

  Abracadabra, ala kazam! Someone get there magic wand ready!







The picture looks exactly the same to me,but maybe that proves how good they are. I shouldn't be so cynical and think they have just used the same picture. Naughty Second Hand Rose.

Debenhams launched nude bras earlier in the year and also launched £3.20 invisible knickers in 2008 that were a real success.However, they wern't very sexy. I always wonder what happens when women do wear these nude and control knickers. They are advertised as making you lose a dress size and making men drool over you. But what actually happens when you do have a man drooling over you and are getting jiggy with it, but instead of a nice black lacy thong,you have high waisted control knickers on. Not the greatest turn on. Daniel Cleaver did like Bridget Jones's control pants though,so maybe there are some men that get hot under the collar at the sight of granny pants.

What is fabulous though is that earlier this year La Senza launched a range of No VPL thongs. Hooray, we don't just have to wear nude draws anymore, we can wear something that men might actually find attractive! Plus to top it off they have created lacy ones!! I can hear all you women rejoicing! Well I am anyway. They come in three colours nude,white and black and are quite reasonable at £5 each. If the thong isn't for you they also do shorts. To top it off at the moment they are three for the price of two so ladies get buying! No VPL Knickers

So I will stop gushing about them, before I end up sounding like I have an invisible underwear fetish,trust me I really don't. I'm sure there are some people out there with one though. I'm really trying to resist typing in 'Nude underwear fetishes' into Google and seeing what comes up. Let me tell you about some things that I am selling on eBay this week, that I'm sure you girlies will be interested in. Or men,we are not sexist here at Second Hand Rose. I don't know why I am saying 'We' its just me really, oh and maybe my cat, but he isn't much help.
If you are interested, please click on the name for the link. Look at me being all technical.

-A Rimmel Natural Bronzer in 022 Sun Bronze, which is brand new and will give you a lovely glow.-A brand new Nails Inc Nail Varnish in shade 'Warwick Avenue' which is a lovely pale pink.
A lovely Buckingham Silver Charm Bracelet which is brand new in the box.

I don't want this to become a blog that I'm just using to sell things,don't worry I'm not going to start blogging about some water filters that I am selling.
So ladies what with the invisible tights,knickers and no VPL thongs, you have no excuse to get out that little red number that you have been keeping at the back of your wardrobe. So thanks very much Debenhams and La Senza for helping us women look less like we are going to a disco and helping us be the sophisticated gorgeous bombshells that we all want to be. And if you are reading please make some dresses that you can't stain with wine when you are a bit tipsy. Now that would be good.

Second Hand Rose
XxxX

Anyone for a serial killers fingernail?

Last Thursday I posted about the end to my pretty short shopping detox in 'Whoopsy daisy!!' It was so short I'm surprised the hours went into three figures. I told you about my buys from Asos but what I didn't tell you about is my purchases from my total eternal love that is Ebay. I didn't want you to start calling the Priory on me. To me Ebay is the perfect man. It surprises you with lovely items,cheap purchases and it even gives you money to spend on shoes when you sell something. It doesn't wake up one morning and give you the 'Its not you its me' speech or send you a Dear John email,which is a plus.

Jesus Toast

I have been a fan of eBay for years,I first fell in love as an eleven year old girl using my mum's name and birth date to get myself an eBay account,sorry Mum. You can find anything on eBay and I mean anything from a serial killer's fingernails to a piece of toast with the face of Jesus on. I'm being totally serious here. People sell the rights to name their baby on eBay along with an imaginary friend. Other weird things sold include a guy selling his soul for 1 million dollars and another man tried to sell his liver for transplants for 5.7 million dollars. Was it made of gold or something? This makes me as a thirteen year old girl wanting to sell my sister on eBay sound sane. Some parents actually put their baby on eBay for a euro as a joke and the baby got taken away from them briefly. The funniest thing I have heard is that a bitter jilted wife got revenge on her husband by selling his mistresses over-sized knickers and a 'small-sized' condom wrapper that she found in their bed. I read a book about this guy who thought his girlfriend was cheating on him and sold all her shoes on eBay!! I would officially die if that happened, so if we break up or have a fight Mr.Boyfriend don't get any ideas!! The girl actually tracked down all the buyers and went all over the world to get all her shoes back. Sounds exactly like what I would do,no one is taking my pink platforms away from me thankyou very much.

eBay is not full of people selling things who need to be sectioned,you can find some real finds. eBay is also my first stop to see if I can find something cheaper,I am a bit of scrouge you see. I am regularly seen in shops using a barcode scanner on my phone and checking if I can find it cheaper before I buy it.

You find that you get quite a few companies selling on eBay and selling things a lot cheaper then in the shop. I was determind to have a pink television,much to my Dad's objections and I found a decent one on Argos. So I looked on eBay and Argos's eBay shop were selling the exact same television for £100 cheaper!! Ebay is great for buying fabric,I buy all my fabric,sewing materials,buttons,ribbons etc on there,my poor postman. You can find some gorgeous classic clothes and old sewing patterns on ther too. I got fifty old sewing patterns for £26 a while ago that I regularly jump up and down about. You can also get 6kg of Mini Eggs for £33!! Yes please Father Christmas!!

I love finding gems on eBay, I do spend an awful lot of time on there,I would say I am a complete eBay addict. My watch list is six pages long and consists of around eight categories. Yes I have put all the items that I am watching into seperate lists, I am a bit of a saddo I know. So last week I found some real jewels!! The lovely 'theflickmistress' was selling some lovely items that I just had to have. Since I was born I've been obsessed with fur. Not real fur the fake stuff,I just want to clarify that so I don't get some animal rights protestors chucking red paint at me. For three months I dragged my poor mother around every fabric shop we could find trying to get some pink leopard print fur. We eventually found it and I had a lovely pink leopard duvet cover much to my cat's delight, that even Del Boy would be proud of.

My dream car

So, in one of my many online window shopping sessions I was looking for a fur coat on Boohoo which have some really gorgeous ones. £80, £70, £90 kept flashing up at me and even I realised that I couldn't justify spending that much,ah not gonna happen. So what did I do,I went to my trusty reliable lover eBay and typed in 'Boohoo Fur Coat'. A B-eautiful coat came up that theflickmistress was selling. It had five days left when I found it and I couldn't wait for it to finish. I didn't tell anyone about it because I knew that I would get the 'do you really need it'  from my mum and  'where are you going to put it? You already have four coats.' I set three alarms in case one of them didn't go off and with ten minutes left I put on my laptop hoping that the internet wouldn't crash like it did when I was bidding on those gorgeous purple peep toes. I'm still gloomy
                                                             from losing out to them.

Thankfully the internet was on my side and I was able to get to the page and put my bid in. After a fight for it between some other bidder I won! I got it for £31 with £4 postage, I was very happy due to the fact that it was £80 on Boohoo! It had only been worn once so it was a great buy.

So a couple of days later a parcel arrived for me and yes I did have the usual wait for ten minutes while my mum talks to the postman about feeding tomato plants and how to make a casserole. I finally managed to get it and rip the wrapper off. I couldn't find any scissors,I never can when I need some so I ended up tearing it all open whilst breaking a nail. I wasn't really bothered,hell I would have used my teeth if I had to. The coat is absolutely gorgeous! The lovely 'flickmistress' included three extra buttons to go with it. The buttons are not just any old boring buttons,they are gorgeous jewelled and sparkly gem buttons! This was an added lovely surprise! I tried it on hoping that the half of a big apple pie I demolished last week with my Grandma wouldn't make a difference. Thankfully it didn't and it fitted gorgeously!!

I won my mum over as soon as she saw the coat. Of course she did the usual check of how thick the fabric is and how well the lining is put in, but it passed her checks so thankfully I won't get the conitnual 'that coat isn't think enough' and 'have you seen how the lining is stitched? Now the lovely fur coat has a new home hanging on my extra clothes rail in my room. Yes I have a completely full slightly wonky clothes rail in my room along with a wardrobe. I also bought another item from 'theflickmistress' two hours later after the coat finished, it is a gorgeous blue bow pattern dress that I got for £2.19!! So now its time to show them off:

Don't worry I wouldn't normally wear the coat with blue £2.50 tracky bottoms from Primark. Note the 'Mummy What's a Sex Pistol?' t-shirt which I wear a lot much to my mother's dismay. I'm in love with this coat and will find any excuse to wear it. I think I'm the only person in the country who wants the weather to be cold just so I can wear my coat. Here is a picture of the gorgeous Bow Dress. It's so weird because the day after I bought it I was looking through some old magazines and I found a picture of Sarah Harding wearing it at a festival last year! Its weird how these coincidences happen. 

theflickmistress was so helpful and lovely when I emailed her asking the length of the coat needing to know due to me being just a tad short and my cheeky ask for combined postage. She is selling a lot of things at the moment so please check her stuff out and I guarantee that you will get a good deal.

Here are a few of her items: A gorgeous Topshop Faux Fur Jacket. The jacket is a size eight and has hardly been worn. Lovely for winter and looks very cosy! She is selling a lot of womens and mens clothes,its like a treasure chest over there.

Another one of her items is this Boohoo Badge Pocket Denim Shirt. The shirt has a buttoned front and has some funky badges on. It is a size eight and again it has only been worn a couple of times. I would look great with a pair of skinny jeans and some black knee high boots. So make sure you check out theflickmistress for some great bargains.
I'm off to buy 6kg of Mini eggs....

Second Hand Rose
XxxX

Cows hold onto your nipples,Birds hold onto your wings

This year at London Fashion Week, designer Rachel Freire showed a provocative collection. It included a dress made from 3,000 cow and yak nipples (90% cow and 10%yak).Anyone that knows what a yak is,please share it with the world. It is created from patches of cattle hide recovered from tanneries(whatever they are). I think I may need to go and find a dictionary. The dress was shown on the Paris catwalk too. I dunno how the curly moustache, beret wearing striped t-shirt brigade would take it. If there are any French people reading,sorry for the stereotype. The collection also included an intricate bra made from layers of protruding cow nipples. 


As soon as the collection was shown, editors were typing quicker then lightning on their blackberries, while MPs and animal rights campaigners were getting in a tizz. It didn't take long for an MP to express their outrage. And can you guess which party the MP was from?? Drum roll.....Labour! What a surprise! MP Kerry McCarthy said 'It seems to me absolutely grotesque. I think most people will find it sickening and repulsive.' While eating a duck sandwich. I'm surprised she didn't also say 'This is all down to the coallition and Labour has part of their manifesto that we will not allow cow nipples or any other kind of nipple to be used for fashion. This is all David Cameron's fault and shows what has become of our society within this government.' As you can tell I am a bit of a cynical grumpy young women, especially about politicians. The opposition is always quick to slate the opposing party if they have done anything wrong. It's like a bunch of school girls bitching about the horrible girl with buck teeth and how awful new lipstick is. I'm surprised they don't have a stitch and bitch group. I can just see David Cameron sitting in a circle with his cabinet discussing Ed Miliband's new haircut, whilst doing knit one pearl two. Anyway I'll stop with the cynicism about politicians,well at least for now anyway.
An animal rights activist from the organisation Viva, Justin Kerswell added: 'Isn't the way we treat farmed animals bad enough, without turning their dead bodies into a runway freak show?'. But us english like our freak shows honey. Look at how many viewers Jeremy Kyle gets.


Rachel Friere said that she was excited about revealing her designs at Somerset House and is now defending her creations. She said 'They really make you aware of the animal itself. I create fashion using material that would otherwise end up on the scrap heap. What I am doing is recycling. The people criticising are clearly clueless about the amount of leather wasted on a daily basis.' I know we have it forced into our brain 'Renew,Reuse,Recycle' daily, but don't you think using cow nipples is just a step too far? What's next,pig's tails? Piglet watch out.


Rachel started her label in 2009, with a degree in Design and Performance from Central Saint Martins. Jealous much. Rachel has no experience in the fashion industry, but her unique collection has obviously been a hit. Well that's certainly one way to get your name out there. She prefers to be called an artist instead of a fashion designer. Rachel said 'I am an artist in wolf's clothing.' OK,I have no idea what that means but good for you.


I don't know where I stand on this really. As a hardcore vegetarian of eleven years and an animal lover,I do think its a bit wrong. But the eccentric wacky designer in me does think its a cool idea,so I am torn. Maybe I'm just missing Haribo. The point is that I'd rather the animal was not killed in the first place. However,it sadly is and the by-products left over would be going in the dump anyway, so I can see where the designer is coming from when she says it is just recycling. I don't think its what the government had in mind though honey. Is this  really Eco friendly?


I hate leather and refuse to wear it. I don't like the smell of it and I hate going near anyone who is wearing it. But then a lot of designers use leather for shoes including my love Christian Louboutin,along with Jimmy Choo. I could maybe justify wearing them if the animal was killed anyway and the leather is a by-product, but I wouldn't wear them if the animal was solely bred for the leather,the same with fur. But is wearing and using by-products of animals encouraging animals to be killed in the first place and increasing the demand? So, it means I'm torn between my vegetarianism and my total love of shoes. Christan Louboutin if you're reading this,not that you would be,please make some vegetarian shoes for me that doesn't make me look like a monk or an out of date social worker, so I can wear them without feeling guilty. I'm not that keen on having dead animal skin on my feet. Just the whole dead thing freaks me out. Of course my family are very supportive with me being a vegetarian. My dad pushes me in the butchers every time we go past and my sister said that we should all get cremated together and she would wear her leather coat just to piss me off. Families eh.


I came across another designer a while back who loves recycling animal parts called Jess Eaton. The Brighton designer uses pieces from animals that have died naturally or have been killed for food. Jess boils up bones from a sunday dinner and makes them into a necklace. Her Roadkill Couture collection shown at Brighton Fashion Week in June 2011, includes a fascinator made from rat skulls, a hat made from four magpie wings, a cape made from the tail of a shire horse and a belt made from a rack of spare rib bones. Yeah I can see them being sold in h&m.
Jess also creates fur-based pieces,inspired by style icons such as Joan Crawford and Bette Davis. These pieces include a bolero jacket made from the skins of fifty white rats, whose flesh was eaten by her friend's pet lizard and a hat made from a fox tail with pheasant feather wings. She has also made accessories which include a necklace of 12 pheasant skulls,evening gloves trimmed with the birds' feathers and jewellery made from mussel shells. You can see the show here Roadkill Couture Collection.

Fascinator made from
magpie wings

Pheasant skull necklace with sparkly diamond

Jess said 'I'm certainly not squeamish. I have to skin all the animals myself. Because they lived natural lives instead of being bred for fur on farms,the roadkill is often scarred. Squirels seem to be particularly macho as they are covered in injuries from fighting. It means I have to work that bit harder to make them look beautiful.' I'm sure a blob of foundation and a sweep of blusher would do the the trick. Jess goes on to say 'I was recently donated a whole horse's head after the animal died. I carved the skull and used the skin and hair in several pieces.' It sounds a bit like the Godfather. I wonder if she woke up and found it on her pillow. 'People see roadkill and think of me. One friend rang in a panic because there was a dead fox in her garden. I picked it up and now it is a cape. It was lovely and fresh.' Now that is true friendship. 'My poor son Norton,seven is sick of the smell of flesh-eating bugs at home and my workshop at home is often full of bits of animal. But I am moving into a shop in Brighton soon, so at least it will be out of our little flat.' God I wouldn't want to live above that shop,give me an Indian takeaway any day.' Jess hopes her work inspires people to think about where food comes from and how much we waste. I don't really get how making a necklace out of pheasant skulls will make people think about where their food comes from and how much we waste, they will just think you're mad.

Rat skin jacket,rat skull fascinator & spare rib belt

This is another collection that I am in two minds about. The pieces do look good and I am the first in the queue to wear eccentric and unusual things,but its an animal. People could argue that the animals have suffered enough already by being killed and don't deserve being cut about,but they have not been killed solely to make the pieces. A lot of them are killed by silly drivers that are too busy fiddling with the radio and not watching the road. So what does everyone think,is this art and beautiful or is it wrong and repulsive? For the meantime,I just think I will stick to spikes and cameos.




Second Hand Rose
XxxX

Whoopsy daisy!!

I did a post well, more like a ramble really On What I Would Like This Week a couple of weeks ago, about my fashion detox and how I am trying desperately not to buy anything. Well honey's I fell off the wagon. My detox is no longer.
It started with Dorothy Perkins having an everything 25% off sale. I thought this was a sign due to me jabbering on for at least three paragraphs about how much I wanted their teal Jeans. I got a lovely email from Dorothy Perkins telling me I'm a VIP and I have been given a VIP code to have 25% off. What is it with the word VIP? Its three letters and can make you go on a buying frenzy,just because you are on of their 'special customers' and you are one of the very select few in the world who have been given this code to treat yourself with. Suddenly the fact that you have no money and can't even afford to buy 4 pints of milk, so you have to have horrible weak tea all week goes out the window. You think to yourself 'Hmm maybe I can afford something,I'll just buy something little and its 25% off the normal price and I was going to buy it anyway.' Well that's my thought process anyway.
 So you go on the website and all these clothes pop up at you at once, its a feast for your eyes. My hand has been trained to automatically click the 'sale' button. It's taken years of fine training,I would even go as far to say that it is an art. I've told you all about the hours that I have spent window shopping online, well the week of the Dotty P's 25% I certainly did some of that.
However the story takes a mysterious turn.I don't know what was wrong with me but I just couldn't click the 'Confirm' purchase button. Everyday I kept going on there,refilling my basket desperately hoping the jeans that I gushed about were still in my size.But when it came down to it suddenly the £47 that I was just about to spend on the jeans and some other lovelies, seemed so big. I must have been ill or something. I got my mum to check my temperature,but I was fine. I must be having a mid-style crisis. So all week I stared at this basket and woke up suddenly at 11pm on the sunday night (yes, I am asleep before 11pm,I'm an old lady I know),I went on my laptop to order the things hoping that my basket hadn't depleted. I kept my laptop on sleep mode practically all week so I could keep my basket. But again I just couldn't click 'Confirm' So that week I did not use the VIP 25% off code for Dotty P's. For a whole week I didn't not buy anything.Someone please call a doctor.

£2 was £10

£2 was £10

£2 was £12

Thankfully, the next week I seemed to recover from whatever it was that was stopping me buying and I bought some things off one of my favourite websites, Asos. I've been trying desperately not to go on Asos because I know I will buy something but I couldn't take it anymore,I had to write the four letters,two vowels and two consonents please Carol Vorderman. Since I haven't bought anything off Asos from the end of July,I thought it was time to treat myself. I'm obsessed with accessories at the moment, but sadly at the moment I do not have any room for any more jewellery and I have two kitchen roll holders full of bangles,don't worry I'm gonna make room for some more.So,the next thing to accesorize is my hair. I put five scarfs in my basket and it took me at least thirty minutes and an opinion from Mr.Boyfriend who was like most men totally bored out of his mind and as soon as I mentioned shopping his eyes glazed over. So these are the ones I decided to get. Everything I've bought was all in the sale apart from the socks,so I suppose its still kinda being good. It's like eating low fat chocolate whilst on a diet.
I got a great deal on the headscarves saving a total of £33! Of course actually doing them like they are in the pictures is a different matter! I have spent ages trying to perfect my headscarf bows, but I always end up getting a limp bow and screwed up folded over material. I am determined for my head to be bowalicious and when I've perfected the bows I will blog about how to do them. I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles,even though I am a bit cack handed. I also found this lovely floral printed canvas trilby with a lace trim. It was a bargain at £4 from £15, so I was sure it would very much enjoy being part of my ever growing hat collection. My hat collection grows nearly as fast as Mitosis.

£3 was £10

£4 was £15

When I go on Asos I always look at the tights and socks. I found these groovy orange and black dogtooth patterned socks that were £5, which without hesitation I added to my bag. I am a big fan of patterned tights and socks,I had about ten socks or tights in my bag and I had the gruelling task of saying arrivederci to nine of them. My favourite item that I bought is this gorgeous Asos Africa Paperbag Printed Skirt. It comes in two colours Brown and Camel,I chose the latter. I know its not some people's cup of tea and everyone I asked about it was like 'umm yeah I suppose its nice', but I was set on buying it.
So the next day the lovely man from Asos delivered my delivery. Unfortunately my mum answered the door and she had a wonderful conversation about the weather and found out his life story. This is a regular occurence for my mum. I wanted to just snatch the bag out of his hand,but I knew I would get a least six hours of a lecture on politeness from my mum. I finally managed to get the bag off the man,after my mum had given him advice on his sore foot and straight away I tried my purchases on. The socks are great,I love the headbands even though I have no idea how to tie them, the hat is fab and the skirt is utterly gorgeous. The skirt came in a lovely rectangle fabric bag with a tribal print,which now holds all my knee high socks, thank you Asos. Asos donates £5 from every item sold to build a new workshop in Kenya, where the clothes are made to help the community build themselves a better life. That's me doing my bit for charity. I had a breathe in and tug moment with the skirt. It was a small version for the size that I am, which disapointed me a little. Its probably got to do with the couple of thousand biscuits I have been eating and that huge piece of cake I had at my Grandma's last week.

Its horrible when you buy something and it doesn't fit,its happened to everyone I'm sure. Well, except Kate Moss. It makes you feel fat and physically exhausts you when you have to breathe in to do the zip or buttons up. Just try not to do it for too long,I don't want anyone having to call 999. So when you have done it up you have to move the zip to the back. You have tried doing it at the back, but sadly us humans are not born with extendable arms. So you move it to the front and once you have done it up you have to do the breathe in and tug action. You find yourself tugging and twisting your arms so much that you are jumping in the air like a maniac. Putting clothes on can be an exercise in itself. I'm sure after you have done it you have burnt at least a biscuit worth of calories. So if you do get it done up success, but you then have to try and walk in it. You can end up walking like a constipaetd duck, which is really not a good look. It maybe all right standing up,but you can't stand up for the rest of your life.So you slowly try sitting in it and your hips feel like they are being squashed and all the fabric has wrinkles in it. If the zip breaks,fabric rips,or buttons pop then honey, I think you need a size up.

£12 was £30

£12 was £40

I have Asos Premier which is when you pay £25 a year and you get free next day delivery and free collection. So on to Asos I went to find if they had the next size up,thankfully they did. I also found this gorgeous bright orange textured lampshade skirt, that was £30 reduced to £12. So in the bag it went and the order was confirmed. I'm really in to orange,yellow and pastel colours at the moment,I don't know why though because in my dad's words 'I'm as white as a ghost' and I also have blonde hair and we all know how disastrous blonde hair can look with orange and yellow. Do you think that its ok to wear orange or yellow with blonde hair? If you are blonde do you wear them? and to anyone What colours do you stay away from because of your hair colour? This is officially open for discussion. 

So there we go there are my purchases from my destroyed shopping detox. I've never been much good at diets.

Second Hand Rose

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Jonesy, please try not to panic

7th September 1922-27th September 2011

Last week one of the greatest ever comedy writers sadly past away. That man was David Croft. He died at the ripe old age of 89 on the 27th of September in his sleep. David was a co-writer for Dad's Army,Allo Allo!,Hi-de-Hi!,Are You Being Served?,It Ain't Half Hot Mum and You Rang M'Lord?.
I know this post has nothing to do with fashion, but I felt that he deserved a mention since he did create my first love. He wrote Dad's Army along with Jimmy Perry and it is one of the best comedies EVER, in my opinion. It was only last week that I was talking about my first crush being Walker from Dad's Army in my A Nosey into the life of the Second Hand Rose post, where I let the world know 7 slightly cuckoo things about me.

I fell in love with Dad's Army at a very young age. It was a staple of my television viewing,that and Rosie and Jim. We always use to sit down to watch Jonesy fail miserably being called to attention,Walker and his schemes and Mr Mainwaring getting so wound up by the platoon you thought he was going to burst a blood vessel. I absolutely adored Jonesy and just fell in love with Godfrey. All the characters were amazing and it was so cleverly written. Dad's Army began in 1968 and lasted until 1977. It ran for nine extremely successful series with eighty episodes in total. Dad's Army took the world by storm and had a radio series,a stage show and a feature film. The series regularly reached eighteen million viewers and was shown in an array of countries including Barbados and Jamaica. I can just see a family sitting under a palm tree,in their straw huts and flower skirts watching Jonesy shout 'Don't Panic' every five minutes,can't you? Even though Dad's Army is repeated every Saturday on BBC2, I was very happy to get the box set for my birthday this year. It was a present from my cat,yes my cat does give us presents. Since then me and my cat have spent many many hours watching it and falling in love with the platoon all over again. When I have it on my room seems to be the hottest spot in town. Along with my cat stretched out on my bed,I regularly get my brother and my Dad coming into my room for 'just a minute' to watch the platoon lark about. I think I'm going to start charging them for taking up bed space. I'm starting to think the only reason Mr.Boyfriend comes over is to watch my Dad's Army collection.

My favourite episode has got to be the last one Never Too Old where Jones gets married to his love Mrs Fox, who he has fancied for 17 years. It is the cutest episode and when Jones says 'Does she love me for myself,or does she love me for my meat?' I crack up even though I have heard it at least a hundred times. During the war meat was very scarce and you did actually get women marrying butchers and doing umm favours for them to get some nice sausages.  If any of you were thinking 'meat' meant something else then you get a slapped wrist.

So we have sadly lost one of the geniuses of comedy, but he will live on in the laughter of the wonderful programmes that he created. Sadly there is only Jonesy, Pike, Mrs Fox, the Vicar and the Verger left now of the Dad's Army clan. When we heard on the radio that David had died,my oh so funny father came out with 'Well they won't be making anymore of that then.' Very funny father,there would only be two of them in the platoon. So David Croft,if you are reading this from comedy heaven,thank you so much for all the laughs you have given me over the years.Oh and say hi to Mr Mainwaring for me.
So all you lovelies out there if you get a moment I suggest you go and watch some Dad's Army,after a long day, it will certainly cheer you up. I'm off to go and drool over Walker for another hour.....

Second Hand Rose
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Wiggling bums and a whole lot of fabric

Now ladies and maybe gentlemen, we all wonder what our bum looks like in a pair of jeans or that gorgeous dress that we have saved up for. We have all asked ourselves in our life that infamous question 'Does my bum look big in this?.' I'm sure like me you have spent many hours trying to bend your head every way possible in order to see what your bum looks like in a mirror. Every time us girls go past a mirror we secretly check out our booties. I'm certain even some of you men do this but just cover it up by 'fixing' your hair. The bottom is a huge thing for women,everyone wants a JLo bum to shake on a saturday night. Some women are spending thousands of pounds to get the 'perfect bum' with but lifting injections,carboxytherapy which is when they inject carbon dioxide into your booty to get rid of dimples and there are even women getting fat injected into their bum to have more of a Beyonce wiggle. Girls you can have some of mine anytime.  While other women are going crazy at the gym and avoiding anything yummy to get rid of the stubborn fat. Just thank your lucky stars ladies that the victorian bustle dress trend has not come back into fashion.

There are thousands,probably millions of products out there promising you the 'perfect bum.' You have to apply the product to your bum like ten times a day and have to use a buffer brush that both cost a weeks pay to fight the evil cellulite, using a round circle motion that gives you a dead arm for the rest of the day. Or you have to do lunges,squats,clenches and the infamous plank that I swear took at least 5 years off my life the last time I tried it. Ugh,I think I'll stick to avoiding mirrors and long cardigans thanks. So what is the perfect bum? According to a very reliable expert a.k.a Mr.Boyfriend it has to be 'Round, squidgy,curvy,extremely soft and you have to be able to pinch and grab it. Oh and it can't be too hard.' No pressure there then ladies.

The reason I'm talking about our secret obsession and some what neurosis is because a very clever Korean artist, Aamu Song has created a dress that can be worn by 238 people,yes you read that right. It is created with lovely Kvadrat classic 'Divina' wool fabric.The dress is made with over 550 metres of fabric,stretches 20 metres in diameter  and spreads out for 10 metres in all directions over the floor surrounding the 3 metre high bodice. God imagine trying to get on the tube with that.
The dress was created for the London Design Festival at York Hall and was presented by The Finnish Institute in London, that ran from the 22nd to the 25th of September. So the Second Hand Rose is just a tad behind.

Aamu designed 'REDDRESS' for a performer to stand in the bodice of the dress and the audience to lie in the pockets under one of the four layers of skirt. Each performer had to climb up a concealed staircase to fit into the body.  Performers included Finnish vocalist  Emma Salokoski, guitarist Jarmo Saari and a string quartet from Britten Sinfonia. Aamu came up with the idea for the dress when trying to find a way of adding an extra dimension to an artistic performance. 'The gown-like the sound of a piece of music spreads and enfolds the audience,drawing them even further into the peformance.' So basically they just ran out of seats and had a load of fabric lying around. Aamu also said 'REDDRESS aims to question the roles we play as the participant or performer,as well as elevating the experimental boundaries of this versatile relationship.' If anyone can translate that into english,please send it in on a postcard.

The dress is gorgeous and amazingly well made with the clinched in waist and the puffy shoulders that Joan Collins from Dynasty would be proud of. If anyone doesn't know what Dynasty is check it out,full of 80s fashion and shoulder pads that make you look like a rectangle. Anyway, I think the poor people that had to sit at a sewing machine for not hours, but days deserve a big round of applause. So ladies the next time you have a bottom crisis,just remember that your dress does not have to consist of 550metres of fabric to cover your bum and there doesn't have to be a wooden structure made to conceal your assets. I'm sure those performers did ask themselves if there bum looked big in it. Anyone would if they had 238 people sitting in their dress. So all you small bums,big bums,soft bums,jelly bums,flat bums out there be proud of your posterier and flaunt your blessings. Just remember when you are on the beach or out at night,every other girl is so concerned about what they look like, they don't notice your wobbly bits. The only people that look are men and they just like anything that move lets face it. Even if your bum does look big in a pair of jeans and you could qualify for the squidgy bottom olympics,don't worry because join the club with another 3 billion women out there. I think I'll go and make some club t-shirts. Ones that accentuate the bottom of course.

Second Hand Rose
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